**BREAKING: San Diego Man Shoots Neighbor's Leaf Blower, Finally Proving He's Not the AITA for Once**

BREAKING: San Diego Man Shoots Neighbor’s Leaf Blower, Finally Proving He’s Not the AITA for Once

SAN DIEGO, CA – In a shocking turn of events that has the local HOA absolutely fuming, a 47-year-old man identified only as “Kevin” reportedly shot his neighbor’s leaf blower with a registered handgun this morning after the device had been running continuously since 6:47 AM on a Saturday.

TL;DR: Man fires warning shot at capitalism’s most hated invention, neighbor yells about “property damage,” police arrive, and somehow everyone involved is still mad.

“I told him three times: ‘Gary, it’s 7 AM and I can hear your 2-stroke engine from my toilet,’” Kevin told reporters through what appeared to be a very smug smile. “But he kept going. So I went outside, politely asked him to stop, and when he turned it on again, I just… ventilated the carburetor.”

The leaf blower, a 2023 model Stihl, sustained critical injuries and was later pronounced dead at the scene by paramedics who had been called to treat Kevin’s neighbor for “emotional distress and mild hearing loss.”

Local police are investigating, but sources say charges are unlikely because “honestly, who hasn’t wanted to do this?”

AITA? Reddit seems to think not. The neighbor’s lawn remains un-blasted. We’ll keep you updated as this saga of suburban guerilla warfare continues.