**BREAKING: San Diego Shooter's Ghost Gun Was Actually a Fully-Loaded Avocado Toast**

BREAKING: San Diego Shooter’s Ghost Gun Was Actually a Fully-Loaded Avocado Toast

In a twist that has left both law enforcement and brunch enthusiasts baffled, the suspect in yesterday’s San Diego shooting spree was found to have used a weapon that, upon closer inspection, was actually a carefully arranged avocado toast. “We initially thought it was a standard 9mm ghost gun, but the ‘muzzle flash’ turned out to be a flash-fried chili flake,” a baffled SDPD spokesperson said. “The ‘casings’ were just roasted cherry tomatoes.” The suspect, a 32-year-old influencer, reportedly yelled “IT’S THE CALIFORNIA DREAM” before attempting to “extract rent money” from fellow brunch-goers. In a tragic irony, the only injury reported was a severe case of gluten sensitivity from an errant sourdough shrapnel. The hashtag #AvocadoDefense is already trending globally.