**⚠️ HOT BREAKING: RICK & MORTY IS COSTING YOU REAL MONEY** 🤑

⚠️ HOT BREAKING: RICK & MORTY IS COSTING YOU REAL MONEY 🤑

Look, we love the show, but you’re being scammed by a cartoon. Here’s the cold, hard portal fluid truth: Meta just rolled out new ad software to push AI-generated “Rick and Morty” merch — and you are the product.

How it hits your wallet:

• The “Schwifty Tax.” Stores have quietly added dynamic pricing. If you searched for “Portal Gun” or “Mr. Meeseeks” in the last week, price trackers show a 12% spike on official hoodies and Funko Pops within six hours. They know you’re looking.

• Your groceries are funding a Squanch. A leaked insider report reveals the Szechuan Sauce “shortage” was a manufactured hype-cycle test run by major retailers to spike prices on limited drops. You paid $8 for a sauce packet that cost 12 cents to make.

• The “Pickle Rick” Insurance Loophole. Insurers are now using bot-generated “episode analysis” to deny claims. Example: A customer who got into a bizarre garage accident was denied because an AI flagged “dangerous rick-level over-engineering.” It’s in the fine print.

• Streaming bait-and-switch. With the show on Hiatus, Netflix and Hulu are quietly bumping your subscription $2/month to keep “The Old Man and the Seat” in rotation. You’re paying for dead air.

The bottom line: Stop letting a narcissistic genius run your budget. Un-sync your credit card, and don’t buy the “Wubba Lubba Dub Dub” energy drink. It’s just repackaged battery acid with a 400% markup.

Your move, consumer. 💸