**THE FALL of CIVILIZATION: Why Eating Pears in 2024 Is a Moral Crime**

THE FALL OF CIVILIZATION: Why Eating Pears in 2024 is a Moral Crime

In a shocking exposé that has the nation’s clergy and kindergarten teachers in a panic, a viral video reveals that the simple act of biting into a pear is now the leading cause of societal decay.

“I saw a man eat a pear while walking his dog,” says Dr. Ethica Payne, a moral critic. “The juice ran down his chin. He didn’t even offer the core to a homeless squirrel. Do you know what happens next? Anarchy. That man is going to vote with his feet, and then he’s going to skip church.”

The report claims that pears, with their “arrogant” texture and “deceptive” sweetness, create a culture of entitled snackers. Unlike the humble apple (which is patriotic) or the banana (which is honest), the pear is a “fragile fruit of privilege.” Experts warn that eating a pear without ritualistic sacrifice (i.e., immediately apologizing to a farmer for the amount of water used) is a direct attack on the moral fabric of the community.

Authorities are now urging citizens to stick to ethically sourced, pre-cut vegetables that are “boring enough to remind you that pleasure is a sin.” If you see a pear, the new protocol is to point, weep, and contact your local morality council.

#PearGate #SocietyIsDying #FruitShame