**AITA for Telling My Boomer Boss That "That's Not a Pare-Worthy Problem" When He Asked Me to Shave 3 Cents Off Our Quarterly Budget by Using Cheaper Toilet Paper?**

AITA for telling my boomer boss that “that’s not a pare-worthy problem” when he asked me to shave 3 cents off our quarterly budget by using cheaper toilet paper?

So, my team is in the middle of budget cuts. I’m talking blood-from-a-stone territory. This morning, my 60-year-old manager calls a mandatory 30-minute Zoom meeting—during lunch, unironically—to announce we need to “pare down costs” to meet a target. He then laser-focuses on the office supplies line item.

Specifically, he wants us to switch from the two-ply “Angel Soft” to the single-ply “sandpaper sheets” from the dollar store. It will save us a projected $0.03 per roll. We have about 40 people in the office. Over a quarter, that’s roughly a $4.80 savings. The meeting was $50 of our collective salary in dead air.

I snapped. Over Zoom, I looked him dead in the webcam and said, “With all due respect, that is not a pare-worthy problem. That’s a three-cent savings that will lead to increased employee latency during poopy-time.”

He went silent. Then he cc’d HR on an email titled “Professional Conduct Concerns.”

TL;DR: Refused to optimize corporate toilet paper to the breaking point. AITA for being the hero the office didn’t deserve? (Also, who actually says “pare” in 2025? Is this a Victorian-era finance bro?)