**FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE**

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

POLLING GLITCH: NYT/SIENA DATA REVEALS STARTLING STATISTICAL ANOMALY – VOTERS IN 3 STATES APPEAR TO EXIST IN TWO PLACES AT ONCE

NEW YORK, NY – In what data analysts are calling the most unsettling “glitch in the matrix” of the 2024 election cycle, a forensic review of the latest New York Times/Siena College poll has unearthed a mathematical impossibility hidden deep within the crosstabs.

The anomaly? Registered voters in three key swing states—Arizona, Georgia, and Nevada—appear to have been recorded as casting ballots in both the current election cycle and a 2020 race that hasn’t finished yet.

According to the leaked raw data, a cluster of 1,784 respondents, or roughly 2.3% of the sample, share identical demographic profiles, ages, and even home ZIP codes with voters who were simultaneously recorded as “actively canvassing” in a separate, un-coded sub-panel marked “Altered Timeline – Cohort Beta.”

“When you run the time-stamp analysis, it’s like they’re voting on Tuesday, but also filling out a survey about the previous election on Wednesday,” explained Dr. Aris Thorne, a quantitative ethicist who reviewed the figures. “The system logged their responses as happening at the exact same nanosecond. It’s mathematically impossible. Unless… you believe in quantum superposition for swing voters.”

The “glitch” gets stranger. The overlapping voters all reportedly answered the same question—“Is the country on the right track?”—with the identical, verbatim response: “The track is a Möbius strip.”

The New York Times has declined to comment, issuing only a single internal memo stating, “Our polling partners are checking for dead pixels in the matrix.”

Meanwhile, the Siena