**FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE**

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

HISTORIAN DECLARES MOUNTAIN DEW WHITE OUT THE “TROJAN HORSE” OF SODA WARS – FANS ACCUSE PEPSI OF REPEATING THE FALL OF ROME

(CHICAGO, IL) – In a viral analysis that has the beverage world up in arms, a self-proclaimed “soda historian” has drawn a shocking parallel between the 2010 launch of Mountain Dew White Out and the disastrous fall of the Roman Empire.

Dr. Marcus Fizzius, a comparative history lecturer at DePaul University, claims the citrus-flavored, limited-edition brew—originally launched via the “DEWmocracy” fan vote campaign—is a textbook example of “exterior innovation masking internal decay,” a pattern he calls the “Rhetorician’s Recession.”

“White Out wasn’t a soda; it was a lighthouse on a cliff,” Dr. Fizzius posted on X (formerly Twitter). “Much like the Romans obsessing over the color purple in their togas while the Visigoths camped at the gates, Mountain Dew spent millions perfecting a single, niche offering—a smooth, silky white soda—while the entire carbonated soft drink market was being besieged by energy drinks and sparkling waters. They were polishing the statue of a god while the temple roof collapsed.”

The tweet, accompanied by a side-by-side image of a White Out can and a Roman denarius, has ignited the #DewRomanEmpire trend.

Critics, including the Mountain Dew subreddit moderator ‘DietDewSpartacus,’ fired back: “This is hack history. White Out was our last, great, loyal legion. The fall of the full-sugar Dew empire didn’t happen until the permanent retirement of Pitch Black in 2016. And even then, it was a betrayal from within