**CLASSIFIED // EYES ONLY**

CLASSIFIED // EYES ONLY

Subject: The “Miffy” Incident - Starbucks Global Damage Control Activated.

The Leak:

Sources deep within Starbucks’ global logistics chain confirm that the real reason behind the inexplicable, week-long delay of the “Miffy x Starbucks” 2025 summer collection isn’t a supply chain issue.

It’s a design recall.

Word is, the final production run of the “Secret Garden” Miffy tumblers was flagged by quality control in Ho Chi Minh City. Why? Because internal stress tests revealed the hidden silicone ears—designed to pop out when the cup is filled with hot liquid—do not retract. We’re talking a permanent, floppy-eared Miffy. A cursed variant.

The Board is in chaos. They’re calling it “Project Flop Ear.” The launch is being delayed to physically locate and incinerate 47,000 units that are already in transit to flagship stores in Tokyo, Seoul, and Los Angeles.

But here’s the kicker: A rogue reseller algorithm in Shenzhen already snapped up 12,000 of these “defective” units. The black market price for a “Floppy-Eared Miffy” is currently sitting at $1,400 USD per cup.

Keep your head down. Don’t fill your mug with anything above 140°F. If you see that one weird picture of Miffy looking sad… run.

//END TRANSMISSION