Hold My Gatorade, I’ve Seen It All Now. Apparently the City of Chicago Is Spending $50,000 of Our Tax Dollars on a “Holistic Vibes Audit” for the Michael Jordan Statue Outside the United Center.

Hold my Gatorade, I’ve seen it all now. Apparently the city of Chicago is spending $50,000 of our tax dollars on a “holistic vibes audit” for the Michael Jordan statue outside the United Center.

COMMON SENSE: He’s the GOAT. He’s frozen in mid-air with his tongue out. The vibes are winning championships and cutting million-dollar checks. We don’t need a consultant named “Kai” with a crystal pendulum to tell us the statue needs better “feng shui for generational wealth.”

My neighbor’s kid has more common sense than these city planners. Save the money, fix the potholes on Madison, and let the man dunk in peace. If the vibes are off, it’s because you put up barricades so tourists can’t get a good selfie. Unbelievable.