**NEWS ALERT: "MASSIE PRIMARY" TRENDING as INTERNET DISCOVERS the ULTIMATE BOSS BATTLE**

NEWS ALERT: “MASSIE PRIMARY” TRENDING AS INTERNET DISCOVERS THE ULTIMATE BOSS BATTLE

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what is being called the most confusingly American political event since someone tried to run for office as a literal potato, the term “Massie Primary” has gone supernova on social media. For the uninitiated, this is not a new type of election where voters must pass a calculus exam while wearing a 3-piece suit.

Rather, it is the deeply ironic, internet-fueled campaign to force Rep. Thomas Massie (R-KY) to face a primary challenge—not because he is too radical, but because he is too pro-weed and anti-war for the current GOP establishment.

The Irony, Explained:

The meme historians are having a field day. In a stunning twist of electoral metaphysics, conservatives are now calling for a “drain the swamp” operation against the guy who literally invented the “drain the swamp” aesthetic. Massie, famous for being the sole “no” vote on a $2 trillion coronavirus relief bill (because he actually read it), is now being accused of not being enough of a team player.

The “Massie Primary” trend—largely driven by pro-Trump, pro-wrestling-energy online accounts—argues that Massie is a “liberty first” holdout who refuses to fall in line on things like FISA reauthorization and Ukraine funding. The funny part? The people trying to primary him are using the exact same anti-establishment rhetoric Massie pioneered in 2012.

The Viral Snippet That Broke the Timeline:

In a post that has since been shared 47,000 times, user @CrustyTheConspiracy wrote:

“BREAKING: The GOP is now holding a primary for the guy who holds a primary for everything.