**MARK CUBAN DECLARES ‘MEME STOCKS ARE the NEW STANDARD’—PROMPTLY INVESTIGATED by SEC for BEING TOO FUNNY**

MARK CUBAN DECLARES ‘MEME STOCKS ARE THE NEW STANDARD’—PROMPTLY INVESTIGATED BY SEC FOR BEING TOO FUNNY

Dallas, TX — In a move that left financial analysts both baffled and cackling, billionaire Mark Cuban announced yesterday that he is pivoting his entire investment portfolio to “aggressively long positions on shitposting.” The revelation came during a bizarre, impromptu livestream where Cuban, wearing a Doge t-shirt and holding a giant inflatable gavel, declared, “The SEC can’t regulate a punchline, baby.”

The internet exploded (predictably) with a flurry of activity: $MARK token, a wholly unauthorized parody coin, surged 4,000% in three minutes before crashing faster than Cuban’s dignity when he tried to do a TikTok dance. SEC Chair Gary Gensler reportedly responded by sending Cuban a strongly worded PDF titled “Stop It,” which was itself immediately turned into an NFT and sold for 12 Ethereum.

In a now-viral clip, Cuban can be seen staring directly into the camera, deadpan, before saying: “If a group of strangers on Reddit can turn a bankrupt video game retailer into a cultural monument, why can’t I turn my Twitter feed into a federally insured asset?” He then winked, and a small explosion of confetti and Form 13Fs rained from the ceiling.

Wall Street insiders are calling it “the most transparent pump-and-dump of a human soul we’ve ever seen.” The SEC has opened an investigation, not for insider trading, but for “excessive irony with no permit.”

Why it’s trending: Because nothing unites the internet faster than a billionaire cosplaying as a financially-illiterate memelord. It’s the perfect storm of class warfare, crypto chaos, and the realization that we have all been wrong