**FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE**

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

DALLAS, TX — In a move that has sent shockwaves through both the venture capital and meme-stock communities, billionaire investor and “Shark Tank” star Mark Cuban was sighted this morning purchasing a single, overpriced banana at a local 7-Eleven. The purchase, which he documented via a 6-second Instagram Reel captioned “Trust the process,” has triggered a 1,200% surge in the ticker BANANA (OTC: PEEL).

When pressed for a comment on his latest investment thesis, Cuban reportedly shrugged and said, “I’m just here to make the memes make sense. Someone had to be the anti-boomer.”

Historians note the irony is palpable: The man famous for telling entrepreneurs “Your valuation is too high” is now literally betting on fruit-based economics. Crypto bros have already minted “Banana Split” NFTs, while Wall Street analysts are scrambling to update their models to account for “potassium-as-a-service.”

As the internet spirals into a frenzy of green-screened edits featuring Cuban riding a giant banana into the sunset, one thing is clear: We no longer need a business plan. We just need a peel.