**ELECTION GLITCH DETECTED: KENTUCKY PRIMARY DATA SHOWS 104% TURNOUT in “ZOMBIE PRECINCT”**

ELECTION GLITCH DETECTED: KENTUCKY PRIMARY DATA SHOWS 104% TURNOUT IN “ZOMBIE PRECINCT”

FRANKFORT, KY — A routine audit of Kentucky’s primary election data has uncovered a statistical anomaly so bizarre that state officials are refusing to comment, and data analysts are calling it “the most glitchy matrix moment of the cycle.”

The anomaly? Precinct 7B in rural Adair County. According to official timestamped batch files, 104.7% of registered voters cast a ballot—and 92% of those votes arrived in a single, 47-second burst at 3:14 AM.

“It’s mathematically impossible unless you’re counting pets or ghosts,” said Dr. Lena Voss, a data forensics expert reviewing the file. “The timestamps are sequential, but the voter ID numbers are from three different generations of registration database—some IDs were issued in the 1980s and have no matching alive address.”

The plot thickens: every ballot from the “ghost batch” voted unanimously for a little-known school board candidate named Beau Langley, who has no website, no campaign finance reports, and reportedly died in 2019.

“We looked for a living relative. Nothing. The guy’s obituary mentions he was a fan of ‘voting in his sleep,’” said county clerk Miles Trudeau. “That’s… a quote. From 2019. We’re freaked out.”

The state election board has locked down the precinct’s data folder, citing “a known glitch in the third-party tabulation software.” But internet sleuths have already found a pattern: similar “perfect-uniformity spikes” appeared in the same software’s log files during 2020 and 2022, always at odd hours, always with a deceased candidate getting 100% of the