**BREAKING: The Kentucky Primary Anomaly – Every Precinct Reports 100% Turnout, Zero Votes for Any Candidate.**

BREAKING: The Kentucky Primary Anomaly – Every Precinct Reports 100% Turnout, Zero Votes for Any Candidate.

In what election officials are calling a “statistical impossibility,” every single precinct in the Kentucky primary has reported exactly 100% voter turnout. However, the final tally shows zero votes cast for any candidate.

“Every registered voter showed up, but the machines recorded no selections,” said a bewildered Elizabethtown poll worker. “It’s like they walked in, stared at the screen, and vanished.”

The glitch, dubbed “The Bluegrass Blankout,” has sent data analysts into a frenzy. The matrix-like coincidence extends to write-ins: 100% of voters wrote “N/A” in the blank, all in identical handwriting.

State officials are investigating, but one analyst whispered, “It’s not a glitch. It’s a digital shadow. We’re not supposed to see this.”