**TL;DR: Sky Juice Machine Officially Broken, Locals Losing Their Minds Over Liquid Sunshine That’s Also Trying to Murder Them.**

TL;DR: Sky juice machine officially broken, locals losing their minds over liquid sunshine that’s also trying to murder them.

So AITA for suggesting that maybe, just maybe, people living in a place called “Phoenix” (literally named after a mythical bird that combusts) shouldn’t be shocked when it’s hot outside? The National Weather Service just dropped a heat advisory for like, 40 million people, and everyone’s acting like they got pranked by the sun.

Local man, 34, took to Facebook to complain that his car seat “reached the temperature of a McDonald’s apple pie filling.” Sir, you left a black car in direct UV saturation in July. Did you expect it to stay cool? It’s not a Yeti cooler, it’s a Kia Soul.

Meanwhile, the real heroes are the kids who just realized “hydration” isn’t a new TikTok dance. News at 11: “Local man yells at cloud. Cloud is made of hot death. More at 10.”