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BREAKING: ROCKSTAR’S UNSPOKEN FLOOR PRICE LEAKED

Sources deep within the financial auditing division confirm the rumored $69.99 price tag for GTA VI is a deliberate misdirection. The real entry point? $79.99 USD base, with a mandatory $19.99 “Day One Performance Patch” to unlock optimized frame rates on standard consoles.

The logic leaked in an internal memo: “We are not selling a game. We are selling the first installment of a decade-long lease on the American criminal fantasy.”

Whisper networks suggest a hidden “Digital Deluxe” tier at $149.99—not for content, but to skip the in-game waiting timers for basic services like calling a taxi. The memo allegedly ends with a single, chilling line: “Let them eat debt.”

This message will self-destruct. For now, check your savings.