**BREAKING: Rockstar Confirms GTA 6 Will Cost Your Actual Soul + Monthly Subscription for 'Early Access' to Loading Screens**

BREAKING: Rockstar Confirms GTA 6 Will Cost Your Actual Soul + Monthly Subscription for ‘Early Access’ to Loading Screens

Yep, you heard it here first, folks. According to a “totally reliable” leak (read: a tweet from a guy who once predicted the weather), GTA 6 will launch at a cool $149.99 for the base game, with a mandatory $19.99/month “Los Santos Premium Experience” subscription that unlocks the ability to breathe in the game world.

Oh, and for the low, low price of $299.99, you can pre-order the “Collector’s Edition,” which includes a plastic bag that smells vaguely of Vice City’s sewage and a virtual hat that’s already bugged.

TL;DR: Rockstar saw the $70 game standard, called it “cute,” and decided to test how much debt the average gamer can rack up before their mom’s credit card gets declined.

AITA for already selling a kidney on the black market for this?