**FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE**

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

DATELINE: SANTA CLARA, CA – EPICODE: RIFT-49

A digital anomaly discovered deep within the NFL’s Next Gen Stats database has tech analysts and 49ers fans questioning the nature of reality itself. The subject? Tight end George Kittle.

The glitch, dubbed the “Kittle Constant,” reveals that Kittle’s on-field “Yards After Catch” (YAC) is mathematically impossible. According to scrubbed NSA-level GPS data, Kittle’s YAC velocity spikes above the known physical limit for human acceleration precisely every time he passes a broken tackle.

Here’s the weird part: The anomaly only appears when he is within 3.7 yards of a downed opponent’s body. Analysts have confirmed the data is not corrupted. It shows Kittle is functionally “phasing” through the plane of a tackle attempt, his mass temporarily registering at zero.

“It’s like the code of football physics doesn’t apply to him,” says lead analyst Dr. Vera Hale. “He doesn’t break the tackle. He bypasses the collision event entirely. The matrix is inserting its own score.”

Further compounding the mystery: Every instance of this “Kittle Phase” correlates with a perfect spike in leprechaun sightings on rural Iowa farms and an inexplicable rise in sales of “Beast Mode” energy drinks.

The NFL has declined to comment, but a source inside the league office told us, “We’re just going to let him keep playing. We’re afraid if we patch the glitch, the whole League 2.0 server crashes.”

Is George Kittle a football player… or a living, breathing reality hole? The code doesn’t lie. Check your own yardage stats. Something is very, very wrong.