**News Snippet:**

News Snippet:

Silicon Valley Meltdown: “Founder” Now Means “Someone Who Started a Side Hustle Last Tuesday”

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – In a development that has sent shockwaves through the world of venture capital and overpriced cold brew, the term “founder” has officially lost all meaning. According to a viral LinkedIn post that has since been turned into a nonprofit, a Wix template, and a podcast, the title now applies to anyone who has purchased a domain name and sent a single email with “disrupt” in the subject line.

The irony? The only people actually running companies are now begging for their job titles to be downgraded.

“I can’t even get a table at a sushi spot without someone pulling up a Notion page and calling themselves a ‘visionary,’” lamented one anonymous CEO who now lists himself as “Janitor of Operations” to avoid the stigma.

The internet, predictably, has responded with a new wave of ironic titles: “Founder & Emotional Support Human,” “Co-Founder of My Cat’s LLC,” and the ultimate power move—“Unfunded Trailblazer.” Meanwhile, the true origin story of the trend? It turns out someone’s mom started a book club and listed herself as “Founder of a Literary Disruption.”

Verdict: We are one AI-generated pitch deck away from “Founder” becoming the new “influencer.” Please, someone, start a company that just deletes titles. We’ll fund it.