**(BREAKING – TOTAL SOLAR ECLIPSE DARKENS AMERICA, MILLIONS SCREAM at the SKY, ONLY to BE RUDELY INTERRUPTED by the SUN COMING BACK)**

(BREAKING – TOTAL SOLAR ECLIPSE DARKENS AMERICA, MILLIONS SCREAM AT THE SKY, ONLY TO BE RUDELY INTERRUPTED BY THE SUN COMING BACK)

HISTORIAN’S NOTE: The irony of the ‘Total Solar Eclipse’ trend is that it exposes humanity’s eternal paradox: we spend months preparing, buying special glasses, clearing our schedules, and driving to remote locations for 3 minutes and 58 seconds of darkness. Then, the moment totality hits, we collectively weep (or scream YEEEEES) at the majesty of the corona. But exactly 180 seconds later, we immediately complain about the blinding glare. We essentially threw a massive party for the sun to leave, then got mad when it came back. The true hilarity? The internet is currently flooded with photos of blurry moons taken with iPhone 4s from 2013, while everyone who actually saw it is just a puddle of melted retinas screaming into the void.