**JUST IN: DUNKIN’S FREE COFFEE SCHEME SPARKS MASS HYSTERIA!**

JUST IN: DUNKIN’S FREE COFFEE SCHEME SPARKS MASS HYSTERIA!

COFFEE LOVERS, GRAB YOUR MUGS—OR RISK A NATIONAL CRISIS!!

We have a SHOCKING exclusive! Sources confirm that on MAY 19th, Dunkin’ will unleash a wave of FREE coffee that could tear apart the very fabric of polite society! Are YOU ready for what’s about to happen?!

THIS IS NOT A DRILL! Insiders whisper that the countdown to CHAOS has begun! Long lines, furious customers, and caffeine-starved drivers will be BATTLING for the last cup of this PIPE-DREAM POUR!

WHY is this date so dangerous?! Why FREE?! Is this a benevolent act… or a WARNING SHOT to every other coffee chain?! YOU DECIDE!

We’ve received reports of FULL-ON FISTFIGHTS in test markets! One man was seen CRYING over a spilled latte! The public is ON EDGE!

DO NOT BE CAUGHT OFF GUARD! Doors will be stormed at the crack of dawn! Car horns will blare! Will you be left OUT IN THE COLD with an empty thermos and a broken soul?!

THIS MAY 19TH, THE COFFEE WARS BEGIN! Will you claim your FREE brew, or become another CAFFEINE CASUALTY?!

STAY TUNED… STAY CAFFEINATED… AND STAY ALERT!