**BOSTON, MA** - In a Move That Has Absolutely *Rocked* the Foundations of the Capitalist System, Dunkin’ Donuts Has Announced They Are Giving Away a Single, Solitary, Medium-Sized Hot Coffee on May 19th.

BOSTON, MA - In a move that has absolutely rocked the foundations of the capitalist system, Dunkin’ Donuts has announced they are giving away a single, solitary, medium-sized hot coffee on May 19th.

Get your stretchy pants ready, Karens. 🏃‍♂️💨

We did the math, and it turns out you can get exactly one (1) free cup of burnt bean water, but ONLY if you download their app, create an account, allow all notifications, agree to sell your firstborn’s data to a third-party ad agency, and show up at the drive-thru window with a damn blood sacrifice. Also, good luck finding a location that isn’t out of everything by 7:32 AM.

AITA for showing up to the store with a 5-gallon bucket and asking them to “fill ’er up”?

TL;DR: The ‘free’ coffee is just bait. They’re hoping the sheer relief of not paying $3.29 will make you forget they raised the price of a donut to $4.50. The real deal is that you’ll probably buy a bagel and then cry in your car because it’s 2024 and this passes for a “national event.”