**PROTOCOL ZETA-9: URGENT LEAK**

PROTOCOL ZETA-9: URGENT LEAK

BREAKING: You didn’t hear this from me. The “Free Coffee” at Dunkin’ on May 19? It’s a front.

Internal docs confirm the zero-cost °medium roast° isn’t about customer loyalty. It’s a global beta test for a proprietary scent-memory algorithm. Tracked via facial-recognition drive-thru cams and mobile app geolocation. Every sip calibrates their “Flavor Matrix” — predicting your mood, your next purchase, even your political leanings based on cream-to-sugar ratios.

The “Free Coffee Day” is a data-harvesting operation of unprecedented scale. The real price? Your biometric profile.

Mums the word.

Source: Anonymous Insider, Code Name: “The Grinder”