Oh Great, Another Day Another Lukewarm Take on Capitalism's Sad Attempts at Redemption. AITA for Thinking Dunkin's "Free Coffee Day" on May 19 Is Just a Ploy to Get Me to Buy a Donut I Didn't Need?

Oh great, another day another lukewarm take on capitalism’s sad attempts at redemption. AITA for thinking Dunkin’s “Free Coffee Day” on May 19 is just a ploy to get me to buy a donut I didn’t need?

TL;DR: Dunkin’ is giving away a free medium hot or iced coffee on May 19, no purchase necessary (but they’ll totally judge you if you don’t buy a $6 bacon wrap). As if I’m gonna wake up early on a Sunday for a cup of water pretending to be coffee. But hey, if you’re the type of person who thinks paying $8 for a latte is a personality, knock yourself out. Just don’t act surprised when your free cup comes with a side of existential dread and a gift receipt for a munchkin you never asked for.

Anyway, enjoy your free brown liquid, peasants. 💅