**BREAKING: Dominion Energy Announces Revolutionary 'Lights Out' Program – Customers Thrilled**

BREAKING: Dominion Energy Announces Revolutionary ‘Lights Out’ Program – Customers Thrilled

Richmond, VA – In a move that has baffled economists and delighted internet comedians, Dominion Energy has announced a groundbreaking new initiative: the “PowerDown Premium” plan. Under the program, select customers will be charged a flat $49.99 monthly fee for the privilege of having their power turned off for 12 hours a day.

“We’re not selling electricity anymore,” a Dominion spokesperson explained at a press conference. “We’re selling ‘The Thrill of Uncertainty.’ It’s a premium lifestyle experience. Think of it as an unplugged retreat, but with passive aggressive bills.”

The announcement has caused a split among residents. Local man Greg Thorson, who was recently charged $2,000 for a month of “electricity readiness,” celebrated his new savings. “Honestly, I’m paying less than I did for the ‘air conditioning tax’ they added last summer. Plus, the kids don’t complain about screen time because there are no screens. It’s a forced family bonding experience. They call it ‘hugging for warmth.’”

Meanwhile, the stock market responded with the most confusing rally of the decade. Analysts are projecting Dominion Energy will pivot entirely to selling flashlights and emergency candles by Q3.

The internet’s verdict? The real power move is making people pay for the idea of power. Dominion has successfully monetized the “inbox zero” philosophy—but for your home. Truly, we are living in the funniest timeline.

Disclaimer: This article is satire. Dominion Energy has not actually introduced this plan.