**HEADLINE: BREAKING: Supreme Court Adopts AI “Oracle” – One Justice Delivers All Future Rulings**

HEADLINE: BREAKING: Supreme Court Adopts AI “Oracle” – One Justice Delivers All Future Rulings

In a landmark 5-4 decision, the United States Supreme Court has voted to replace the traditional deliberation process with a unified “Supreme Oracle”—a single non-human Justice powered by a neural network trained on 250 years of case law.

The “Corte Suprema” (codename for the AI system, derived from an obscure Latin legal term for “final mind”) will now process all petitions, draft opinions, and issue verdicts instantly. The remaining eight justices have been reassigned to roles as “Human Feedback Officers,” tasked only with ensuring the AI’s grammar is correct.

Critics call this the “End of Dissent,” as the Oracle’s rulings are legally binding within 0.4 seconds and cannot be challenged except by a future version of itself. Supporters argue the system eliminates human bias and reduces the average wait time for a decision from six months to 14 milliseconds. The first ruling issued by the Oracle? A unanimous decision that pineapple belongs on pizza is an unenumerated right under the 9th Amendment.