**CBP Drops Memorial Day Travel Warning That Basically Boils Down to 'Don't Be a Dumbass'** 🫠

CBP Drops Memorial Day Travel Warning That Basically Boils Down To ‘Don’t Be A Dumbass’ 🫠

WASHINGTON D.C. – In a move that has absolutely nobody surprised , U.S. Customs and Border Protection has issued their annual Memorial Day travel advisory, and holy entitlement, Batman, it’s a masterpiece of stating the obvious. TL;DR: “Please don’t try to smuggle 50 pounds of fentanyl in your kiddie pool floatie, and for the love of God, declare the half-eaten sub from the airport Chili’s.” 🥪

The agency is warning of “increased wait times” at ports of entry, which is Reddit-code for: “Yeah, we’re gonna make you sit in your Honda Civic for 3 hours because some Chad thought he could bring back a suitcase full of Cuban cigars and a live iguana from Cabo.” AITA for thinking this warning is just CBP flexing their power before the long weekend? Probably.

In a press release, acting Commissioner Troy Miller basically said, “We get it, you want a margarita. But maybe don’t pack your bong next to your grandma’s ashes.” The primary takeaway? “Plan ahead.” Groundbreaking. They’re also reminding travelers that the Real ID deadline is coming up, because nothing says “happy Memorial Day” like government-mandated bureaucracy anxiety.

So remember, folks: if you’re coming back from the beach with a cooler full of suspicious “lobster dip” that’s actually just chunks of weed butter, you’re gonna have a bad time. Safe travels, and may the odds of avoiding a cavity search be ever in your favor. ✌️

#CBP #MemorialDay #TravelFail #TheMoreYouKnow