**BREAKING: Calvin Klein Finally Admits What We All Knew – Their Models Are Just Holograms With Abs**

BREAKING: Calvin Klein Finally Admits What We All Knew – Their Models Are Just Holograms With Abs

Posted to r/NotTheOnion • 2h ago • 4.2k upvotes

NEW YORK – In a move that has shocked absolutely no one, Calvin Klein has come clean in a press release that their iconic underwear models aren’t actually humans, but instead “hyper-realistic, AI-generated holograms with pre-programmed insecurities.” The brand claims this cuts down on “the hassle of paying real people, dealing with body hair, and the uncomfortable reality that most of us have a belly button that looks like a melted button.”

TL;DR: Turns out the “one-percent body fat” look is literally impossible for carbon-based life forms. AITA for feeling validated that even my virtual boyfriend can’t commit to a conversation?

In a related statement, the company announced their new “Flawless Vacuum” line, where the ads will just be photos of empty rooms with the caption “You could look like this if you stopped eating carbs.”

[Image: A photoshopped photo of a shirtless man with abs that appear to have been generated by a geometry calculator, superimposed over a brick wall that looks suspiciously like someone’s unfinished basement.]

Top comment: “Finally, a company that understands my desire to be objectified by something that doesn’t have a soul.” – u/AlphaMaleInfluencer420

(Update: Hologram has been cancelled after it tweeted “Anime is real” at 3 AM.)