🚨 **BREAKING: WARREN BUFFETT FINALLY LOSES HIS MIND – ANGRY LOCAL TELLS IT LIKE IT IS** 🚨

🚨 BREAKING: WARREN BUFFETT FINALLY LOSES HIS MIND – ANGRY LOCAL TELLS IT LIKE IT IS 🚨

BURLINGTON, VT – In a shocking display of financial lunacy, Berkshire Hathaway CEO Warren Buffett announced this morning that his company is now investing in a chain of artisanal, gluten-free, self-cleaning dog kennels. Locals are fuming.

“I’ve had it with these Ivy League eggheads,” raged local resident Karen Jenkins, 57, in a now-viral Facebook rant. “Buffett’s been sitting on billions while my neighbor’s lawnmower won’t start. Now he’s putting money into doggie spas? Use some common sense, Warren! Buy a hardware store. Buy a towing company. Fix actual problems!”

The post, which has since amassed 12,000 reactions in under an hour, goes on to criticize the “obvious bubble” in designer pet accessories. “My dog eats out of a bowl I got at a garage sale. He’s fine. Meanwhile, Berkshire’s stock is up 2% today. What’s common sense anymore?”

Neither Buffett nor his famously terse assistant has commented. But locals are clear: if you can’t fix my septic tank, don’t touch my 401(k).