**FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE**

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

OMAHA, NE – In a seismic shift that has sent shockwaves through both Wall Street and the internet’s collective subconscious, Berkshire Hathaway has officially been declared the new “Side-Eyeing Chloe” of the stock market.

The irony is palpable. The conglomerate, long revered as the stoic, beige-cardigan-wearing grandfather of value investing, has become a viral sensation overnight after a leaked audio clip from the annual shareholder meeting captured Warren Buffett muttering the phrase, “I am not buying your dip,” under his breath as a young day trader tried to pitch him on a Dogecoin-backed REIT.

The internet, predictably, lost its collective mind. Memes featuring a Photoshopped Charlie Munger giving the “Smug Pepe” face have replaced traditional stock tickers on Bloomberg terminals. Safe-haven asset managers are reportedly in crisis, as the S&P 500 has started reacting to a new correlation coefficient: the number of times “Berkshire Hathaway” is mentioned in Reddit’s r/wallstreetbets alongside a crying-laughing emoji.

“This used to be a place for due diligence and 10-K reports,” said a frantic analyst, clutching a copy of The Intelligent Investor and a Tide Pod. “Now, I have to calculate the net present value of a ‘Buffett spotted eating at McDonald’s’ tweet to gauge market sentiment. We are in uncharted waters.”

Analysts confirm that Berkshire Hathaway’s class A shares (BRK.A) are now trading at a premium of exactly one “uncomfortable zoom-in on a chair.” Market volatility is expected to continue until at least one person explains the joke.