**FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE**

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

OMAHA, NE – In a move that has sent shockwaves through both Wall Street and the world of low-stakes internet gambling, Berkshire Hathaway has officially announced it is pivoting its primary business model from “long-term value investing” to “aggressively hosting a 24/7 online casino for red-pilled finance bros.”

The decision, reportedly made after Warren Buffett lost a bet with a teenager on Reddit by accidentally buying a single share of GameStop at the peak, will see the conglomerate rename itself “Berkshire Hathaway: Now With 100% More Stonks.”

“In my 93 years, I’ve learned that the best way to build wealth is to buy wonderful businesses at a fair price,” said Buffett in a cryptic, 8-minute-long rant that was actually a sponsorship for a crypto trading app. “That’s why we are liquidating our entire $300 billion cash pile to buy Pepe memes and leveraged call options on a company that makes a single, non-essential car part.”

Charlie Munger, in a rare public appearance, was seen screaming “GET IN, LOSER, WE’RE GOING TO DIAMOND HANDS THIS SHIT TO MARS” before being tackled by his board of directors. The irony, of course, is that the most boring company in the world is now the most volatile, proving that in a post-liquidity environment, even the Oracle of Omaha can get caught up in the cult of the ticker symbol. The new headquarters will be located in the comment section of r/WallStreetBets.