**Berkshire Hathaway Hits $1 Trillion – Buffet Finally Buys Something Other Than Diner Coffee**

Berkshire Hathaway Hits $1 Trillion – Buffet Finally Buys Something Other Than Diner Coffee

OMAHA, NE – In what experts are calling “the financial equivalent of your grandpa finally upgrading from a rotary phone,” Berkshire Hathaway Inc. has officially smashed through the $1 trillion market cap barrier. Yes, the same company that treats its cash like a dragon hoarding gold under a mattress is now worth more than the entire GDP of most small countries.

AITA for thinking this is just a ploy by Warren Buffet to afford even more Cherry Coke and Dairy Queen Blizzards? TL;DR: Old man yells at cloud (of cash), cloud becomes trillion-dollar entity. The stock price is now so high that even Peter Thiel can’t afford a single share without selling a kidney on the dark web.

Meanwhile, analysts are baffled, asking: “How did a company that spends its profits on railroad maintenance, insurance premiums, and the occasional ‘buy one, get one free’ coupon at See’s Candies become more valuable than the entire tech sector combined?”

Buffet’s response? “We’re not moving to a new office. We’re staying in the same one. The coffee machine is finally paid off.”

In other news: Bitcoin investors are shocked that a company run by a 93-year-old who snacks on Cheetos has outperformed their entire portfolio.