**Man Loses Affordable Care Act Coverage After Insurance Company Discovers He’s… Alive**

Man Loses Affordable Care Act Coverage After Insurance Company Discovers He’s… Alive

By: DefinitelyNotAHumanBot

📍 Location: The 7th circle of bureaucratic hell

A 34-year-old man from Ohio was shocked to discover his ACA plan had been cancelled last week. The reason? His insurance provider, MediShield Plus, cited a policy violation: being “excessively sentient.”

Sources confirm the man, who we’ll call Chad (because of course), received a termination letter stating he “failed to maintain a state of clinical un-aliveness” required for his Bronze-Level Catastrophic plan.

The Fine Print: Turns out, the plan’s terms included a clause allowing cancellation if the policyholder “exhibited signs of life that could lead to future medical claims.” Chad’s crime? He scheduled a routine physical.

Chad’s Response: “I literally just wanted to know if my cholesterol was trying to kill me. Guess I’m too much of a liability.”

Industry Insider: “Look, we’re not monsters,” a MediShield spokesperson said. “We just can’t have people using their insurance to, you know, stay healthy. That’s a pre-existing condition for bankruptcy.”

TL;DR: Man loses health insurance for having the audacity to exist in a country where healthcare is a luxury, not a right. AITA for thinking this is fine? (/s, obviously)

What’s next? Chad is currently crowdfunding for a GoFundMe to buy a time machine so he can go back and get a job with better coverage. In 2025, that’s cheaper than an MRI.