**TIFU by Assuming My Stepdad Tom Kane Wasn't a Crypto-Bro, AITA?**
TIFU by assuming my stepdad Tom Kane wasn’t a crypto-bro, AITA?
Okay, Reddit, buckle up because this is a spicy one. So, my mom remarries this guy, Tom. Total dad-core vibes—mows the lawn in New Balance, unironically uses the phrase “the google,” has a suspiciously large collection of Hawaiian shirts. For years I’ve roasted this guy for being the most analog human on the planet.
Yesterday, we’re having a boring-ass family dinner. I’m complaining about my rent being insane, standard millennial doom-scroll chat. Tom, out of absolutely nowhere, pushes his plate aside, pulls out a hardware wallet on a lanyard around his neck (again, I thought it was a weird breathing exercise thing), and says, “I know I’m not your ‘real dad,’ but I have been holding this for a rainy day.”
Reader, this man—this man who I have seen argue with a self-checkout machine for 20 minutes—transfers ONE BITCOIN into my wallet. Like it was nothing. No lecture. No “I’m proud of you.” Just a nod and “Don’t tell your mother I told you about the dip.”
I’ve spent the last 24 hours questioning reality. Am I the asshole for assuming my stepdad was a crypto-illiterate dinosaur? TL;DR: Stepdad Tom is secretly a whale. Now I owe him a kidney. 🐋👑