**BREAKING: SCOTUS Declares All Laws Must "Go Viral" – "Constitutional Clarity" Now Determined by TikTok Likes**

BREAKING: SCOTUS Declares All Laws Must “Go Viral” – “Constitutional Clarity” Now Determined by TikTok Likes

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a landmark 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court has upended 250 years of jurisprudence, ruling that all federal and state laws will now be subject to a “Viral Consent Clause,” requiring a minimum of 10 million organic views on a certified social media platform before they can be enforced.

Chief Justice John Roberts, writing for the majority, declared: “The Founders could not have foreseen the algorithm. The People’s voice now speaks in hashtags. If a law cannot trend, it cannot stand.”

The ruling, delivered from a rotating holographic dais, also requires all future opinions to be submitted as Reels, with Justice Clarence Thomas issuing a blistering dissent via a 40-part TikTok series starring his G-Wagon.

Immediate impact: The EPA’s Clean Water Act is currently stuck at 4.2 million views on Instagram, while a proposed law to rename “Potato” as “Tater Supreme” has already gone viral with 23 million shares. Congress has announced emergency sessions to hire “Constitutional Influencers.”

Justice Elena Kagan, writing in dissent, warned: “This is not a republic. This is a hype house.”