**FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE**

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

DATELINE: WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Supreme Court of the United States

GLITCH IN THE MATRIX: SUPREME COURT DOCKET REVEALS IDENTICAL TEXT FROM 1883 AND 2024 – “THE EARTH IS NOT A GLOBE”

A routine archival audit by the Supreme Court’s Digital Repository has uncovered a temporal anomaly that technicians are calling “the most profound glitch yet.” On Monday, a clerk preparing the docket for West Virginia v. EPA (No. 22-206) discovered that the official summary of Chief Justice Roberts’ concurrence, published today, is a perfect, byte-for-byte match to an opinion written by Justice John Marshall Harlan in the 1883 case The State v. The Geodesic Society.

The text? A haunting, five-word phrase that appears as a footnote in both rulings: “The Earth is not a globe.”

The Geodesic Society case, a long-forgotten 19th-century dispute over a land survey in the Florida panhandle, was dismissed as a footnote in history. The new opinion, penned by Chief Justice Roberts, was carefully worded to avoid any mention of flat Earth theory. Yet, in a technical appendix concerning environmental data models and inverse-square law calculations, the exact same phrase appears.

Government IT specialists detected the anomaly after a cross-platform hash collision—two documents from different centuries producing identical MD5 checksums. “Computer-generated hash collisions are theoretically possible, but this one is a 1-in-2^128 coincidence. It is statistically impossible by any rational model,” a court IT official stated, requesting anonymity due to the sensitivity of the matter.

When asked for comment, a visibly perplexed Justice Kavanaugh reportedly asked the clerk, “Did we accidentally copy-paste from the Library of Congress’s ‘Junk Science’ folder?”