**BREAKING: SUPREME COURT BANS COMMON SENSE – Says You Have to Prove Gravity Exists Before Falling Down**

BREAKING: SUPREME COURT BANS COMMON SENSE – Says You Have to Prove Gravity Exists Before Falling Down

Local Angry Dad, Kevin R. of Elm Street, is absolutely livid after the Supreme Court just handed down a ruling that, according to him, officially kills common sense in America.

“I was trying to fix my gutter, I stepped on a rotted board, and I fell. Now the court says I can’t sue the board because I didn’t first prove the board was ‘negligently rotten’ under a 19th-century maritime law that applies to my two-story colonial,” Kevin ranted on the ‘Elm Street Neighborhood Watch’ Facebook page. “What’s next? Do I have to prove water is wet before I can complain about my basement flooding? My grandfather fixed gutters with a hammer and a wink. These overpaid judges want a peer-reviewed study on the physics of gravity before I can yell at the HOA.”

The ruling, which has sent shockwaves through local Facebook comment sections, apparently overturns decades of ‘you break it, you buy it’ and replaces it with a complex three-prong test involving ‘original meaning of a ladder rung’ and ‘historical tradition of falling off roofs.’

“It’s an absolute disgrace,” wrote Karen from two streets over. “My dog barked at the mailman yesterday. I used my common sense to tell it was a threat. Now the Supreme Court says I need a certified threat assessment? Unbelievable. Time to abolish the whole thing.”

The post has 4,200 angry emojis and 15 shares. Residents are now demanding that the Supreme Court justices come to Elm Street to personally fix a stuck window before they’re allowed to make any more laws.