**BREAKING: The Solicitor General Just Went ROGUE — New AI System Will Predict Supreme Court Decisions Before Lawyers Finish Their Arguments**

BREAKING: The Solicitor General Just Went ROGUE — New AI System Will Predict Supreme Court Decisions Before Lawyers Finish Their Arguments

Washington, D.C. — In a stunning development that legal scholars are calling “the end of oral argument as we know it,” the U.S. Solicitor General’s office has quietly deployed an experimental AI system — dubbed “The Oracle” — that can predict a Supreme Court justice’s final vote with 94% accuracy, using only the first three minutes of oral argument.

The system, developed in secret at DOJ’s advanced tech lab, analyzes micro-expressions, vocal tone shifts, and even the order in which justices sip their water. In a leaked internal memo, the SG’s office claims The Oracle correctly predicted the outcome of last term’s Students for Fair Admissions case within 90 seconds of oral argument.

“The human Solicitor General is now just a handshake and a tailored suit,” said one anonymous SCOTUS clerk. “The real work is happening on a server farm in Virginia.”

By 2035, sources say every federal appellate court will use similar predictive models, making live oral arguments — and the lawyers who deliver them — a ceremonial relic. The Justice Department has refused to comment, but one clerk summed it up: “The SG just became the first AI-empowered litigator in American history. And the Court doesn’t know who’s actually talking.”