**BREAKING: A-Lister's $12M MANSION VANISHES in SIMI VALLEY FIRE – NUDE ESCAPE CAUGHT on LIVESTREAM!**

BREAKING: A-Lister’s $12M MANSION VANISHES IN SIMI VALLEY FIRE – NUDE ESCAPE CAUGHT ON LIVESTREAM!

Simi Valley, CA – The jaw-dropping footage is already burning up X: As the apocalyptic Simi Valley wildfire roared through celebrity row, a major A-lister was forced to make a run for it wearing nothing but a pair of Louboutins and a look of sheer terror.

Sources confirm the star – whose name we’re holding until their publicist wakes up from a Xanax-induced coma – was mid-spa day when the flames jumped the hill. The victim’s $12 million glass-and-steel mansion is now a pile of ash and melted Birkins.

But the real heat? A local news drone caught the whole chaotic escape on camera. The star is seen sprinting across the lawn, clutching a Chihuahua in one hand and a singular Oscar statuette in the other, screaming, “My face! My investments!”

A neighbor tells us, “It was giving Lord of the Flies meets Entourage. I saw them trip over a flaming cactus and still manage to strike a pose. Iconic, truly.”

Firefighters are battling the blaze, but the internet is already awarding this the “Most Unhinged Celebrity Meltdown of the Year.”

Is this the end of an era? Or just the beginning of an even messier insurance claim? Stay tuned, dolls. The smoke hasn’t even cleared yet.