**HEADLINE: NYT/Siena Poll Reveals 73% of Voters Would Rather Fight a Horse-Sized Duck Than Attend a Trump-Biden Rally — But Here’s the Kicker**

HEADLINE: NYT/Siena Poll Reveals 73% of Voters Would Rather Fight a Horse-Sized Duck Than Attend a Trump-Biden Rally — But Here’s the Kicker

BROOKLYN, NY — The internet went into a full-blown existential spiral Monday after the New York Times/Siena College dropped its latest poll, and for once, the numbers weren’t about who is winning. Instead, the shocking statistic emerged that 73% of likely voters said they would “prefer to physically wrestle a horse-sized duck in a flooded Denny’s parking lot” than sit through a joint rally featuring both Joe Biden and Donald Trump.

Meme historians and political anthropologists are calling this the “Roko’s Basilisk of Election Data”—a paradox that breaks the brain.

“The irony is thick enough to spread on a bagel,” said Dr. Meg Tanner, a digital folklore expert at MIT. “We have a political system designed to represent the people, and the people have collectively decided their preferred candidate is a CGI waterfowl from a 2015 Twitter argument. The duck polls at 88% favorability. The duck has never flip-flopped on trade policy. The duck is unstoppable.”

The poll’s crosstabs are devastating. Independents, the most coveted demographic, broke for the duck by a 2-to-1 margin, citing its “consistent quack” and “lack of cognitive decline.” Gen Z voters were found to be creating meme edits of the duck defeating Godzilla while ignoring the actual election entirely.

The meme went supernova when a user on X (formerly Twitter) posted a screenshot of the poll with the caption: “The two candidates have spent $2 billion to convince you they’re the lesser evil. The duck costs $0 and has never tried to sell you a steak.”

The NYT/Siena, in a rare moment