**FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE**

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Chicago, IL – In a move that has sent shockwaves through the sneaker community and beyond, Michael Jordan has officially filed a cease-and-desist order—against memes of his own crying face.

The viral “Crying Jordan” image, which for nearly a decade has been used to mockingly caption everything from failed dunks to losing fantasy football drafts, has finally prompted a response from His Airness. According to a statement released by his legal team, Jordan was “okay with the Bulls losing to the Magic in 1995. He was okay with losing baseball. But he is not okay with his tears being photoshopped into the middle of a McDonald’s Monopoly piece.”

The filing comes just days after a Reddit user posted a high-definition, 4K remaster of the iconic photograph, captioned: “When you finally find the fish sticks in the freezer.”

Social media has predictably exploded. Meme stock prices have plummeted, and several major NFT platforms are scrambling to delist “Crying Jordan” tokens. Meanwhile, a coalition of unathletic internet users—known as the “Still-Average-Joes”—have already launched a GoFundMe for legal defense, using the slogan: “He May Be The GOAT, But Our Tears Are Our Own.”

When reached for comment, former teammate Scottie Pippen simply texted back the crying emoji.