**AITA for Telling My Son He’ll Never Be Michael Jordan Because He Tried to “Lemme Cop a Pair of J’s” Off My Nightstand?**

AITA for telling my son he’ll never be Michael Jordan because he tried to “lemme cop a pair of J’s” off my nightstand?

So, my 14-year-old spawn (let’s call him “Air Ball”) recently discovered my vintage ‘Flu Game’ Jordans in the back of my closet. He’s been watching those corny ESPN documentaries and thinks he’s a footwear historian now. Last night, he literally tried to sneak them out of my house—laces undone, tongue hanging out like a dead fish—to “flex” at his middle school basketball game.

I caught him at the door. I didn’t yell. I just looked him dead in the eye and said: “Son, you’re not Michael Jordan. You couldn’t even hit the rim in a game of HORSE against a folding chair. Those shoes have seen more clutch moments in a single sneaker than your entire genetic lineage.”

He cried. My wife says I’m a “soul-crushing monster.” I say I’m just being honest. AITA for reminding him that the GOAT doesn’t live in his bedroom, and that those shoes are worth more than his college fund?

TL;DR: Kid tried to steal my grails to look cool. I told him he’s a basketball fraud and now he’s emotionally benched. Was I too harsh, or did I just save him from a lifetime of L’s?

Update: He’s now trying to sell the shoes on StockX without my permission. The audacity is almost flu game level iconic. 🐐🔫