**LOCAL MAN WITH "COMMON SENSE" CALLS OUT JACOB ELORDI'S "PRETEND HUNGER"**

LOCAL MAN WITH “COMMON SENSE” CALLS OUT JACOB ELORDI’S “PRETEND HUNGER”

KEZAR FALLS, ME – In a blistering post to the “Kezar Falls Neighborhood Watch & Yard Sale” Facebook group this morning, local resident and self-proclaimed “blue-collar realist” Dave Pelletier, 47, took aim at actor Jacob Elordi.

“Just saw that tall, pale fella from the vampire shows walking down Main Street, hands in his pockets, lookin’ like he just smelled a bad clam,” Pelletier wrote. “I offered him a half-eaten bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and a sip of my gas station coffee. Know what he said? ‘No thanks, I’m waiting for my oat-milk flat white.’”

Pelletier went on to accuse Elordi of “pretend hunger.”

“You ever seen a man that skinny in real life? That ain’t genetics, that’s a lifestyle choice to look ’tortured artist.’ Real Mainers eat a haddock sandwich and don’t complain about the bones. We don’t need Hollywood coming here to show us how to starve for an aesthetic.”

The post, which has since been shared 87 times, concluded with a rallying cry: “Bring back second helpings. Bring back common sense.”

Elordi’s publicist has not commented, but a witness at the scene claims the actor simply said, “I’m just really, really tired of people.”