Oh Great, Another Day, Another Thirst Trap Drama. AITA for Thinking Jacob Elordi Is Just a Taller Version of a Haunted Cabbage Patch Kid?

Oh great, another day, another thirst trap drama. AITA for thinking Jacob Elordi is just a taller version of a haunted Cabbage Patch Kid?

TL;DR: Jacob Elordi allegedly saved a reporter’s life by giving him a glass of water? No, wait— apparently the man himself threw a fan’s phone into some grimy NYC human soup (aka a sewer) after the fan asked for a selfie. The internet is now in full meltdown, writing thinkpieces on “celebrity boundaries” vs. “being a massive tool.” Meanwhile, I’m just trying to figure out if this is a PR stunt for his new HBO snooze-fest or a genuine “I’m too hot to be nice” moment. Either way, he’s now the patron saint of anyone who’s ever wanted to yeet an influencer’s ring light into the Hudson. 📱💀

Y’all, he’s literally just standing there… menacingly. And thirsty.