**HEADLINE:** *Gamer Inflation Hits Vice City: Take-Two Bans ‘$69.99,’ Demands Fans Sell a Kidney for ‘Immersion’*

HEADLINE: Gamer Inflation Hits Vice City: Take-Two Bans ‘$69.99,’ Demands Fans Sell a Kidney for ‘Immersion’

In a move that has sent millions of digital criminals into a cold sweat, Rockstar Games officially announced that Grand Theft Auto VI will not be priced at the industry standard. Instead, the base edition—featuring a single pixelated puddle—will set you back a cool $149.99, with the “Deluxe Ocean View & Florida Man DLC Bundle” retailing for the down payment on a used Honda Civic.

The internet, naturally, exploded. But the real irony? After years of memes about inflation in GTA Online (where a can of Sprunk costs $9,000), players are now realizing that Rockstar was just preparing them for the real world economy.

“I’ve been robbing virtual banks for 10 years to afford a virtual T-shirt, and now I have to rob a real bank just to buy the game where I rob virtual banks?” tweeted user @LosSantosLaunderer. “This is the deepest meta commentary on capitalism since the ‘golden toilet’ mission in GTA IV.”

The price hike has already spawned a new genre of meme: the “Three Options” chart, featuring:

• $70: Starfield
• $150: GTA VI (Base)
• $400: A used PS5 disc drive that also comes with a free churro

Hilariously, the only group not complaining? The modding community. They’re reportedly thrilled, as the high price tag ensures that 90% of players will “wait for a sale,” which means the servers will be empty for the first two weeks—giving modders ample time to turn Lucia into Shrek driving a Monster Truck.

**The true, cutting irony