**BREAKING: America Briefly Forgets Deep-Seated Political Divisions to Yell at a Rock in the Sky**

BREAKING: America Briefly Forgets Deep-Seated Political Divisions to Yell at a Rock in the Sky

By: The Bureau of Celestial Shenanigans

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a stunning display of bi-partisan cooperation that lasted approximately 3 minutes and 47 seconds, the entire population of the United States came together today to collectively scream at the moon for roughly $40 billion.

Experts confirm that this is the first time since the invention of the internet that Americans have agreed on something, specifically that the sun looks “kinda creepy” and that everyone should stop what they are doing immediately to stare directly at a $6 pair of cardboard glasses.

“I was in a heated argument with my cousin about whether pineapple belongs on pizza,” said Karen Matthews of Ohio. “But the moment the shadow hit, we both just looked up, gasped, and I said, ‘Oh my god, it looks like a glowing Cheeto.’ We forgave each other instantly. It was a miracle… or just the UV rays burning through my retinas.”

The irony, historians note, is thick enough to be cut with a knife. Humanity evolved over millions of years to use the sun for warmth, vitamin D, and agriculture. Yet, for three fleeting minutes, we all collectively decided that the best use of our solar system’s primary power source is to use it as a backdrop for a giant, googly-eyed cookie bite.

“Hilariously, we spent billions on telescopes to look at space, but the moment space comes to us, we all just stand in our driveways, tilt our heads back, and make weird ‘ooh’ and ‘ahh’ sounds like we’re watching a fireworks show made of darkness,” explains Dr. Meme Stein, Professor of Digital Irony at M.I.T. “It’s the ultimate ‘Stop doing your work, look at this’ moment from the universe.”

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